you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize