hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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