You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
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I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
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oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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