we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
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I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?