First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?