How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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