At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
