Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
