Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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