I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
