You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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