It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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