So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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