Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
