Kiss
Puke
your room smells of hookers.
And success
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
