On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
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He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
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cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize