she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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