so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
