I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
