i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
