With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize