Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
