he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
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