Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
