You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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