Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
