Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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