I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
