My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
