Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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