I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
