can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
