Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
