Buhtt sex?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
