piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
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