is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
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