There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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