Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
