Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Randomize