Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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