I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize