I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize