Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
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