I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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