He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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