Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize