last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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