I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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