i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
