Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
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