Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
