i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
