Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
