yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
