I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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