ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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