remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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