you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
