Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
