I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
