I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
