it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Randomize
