I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
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