So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Its about making memories worth repressing
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
